


Resurrection

by Niki



Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Roman mythology, Janus was the god of doorways; beginnings and endings. Maybe they could make the end a new beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resurrection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thedevilchicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilchicken/gifts).



> I loved your letter, it gave me millions of ideas and I wanted to write them all!
> 
> Mainly I wanted to write you an epic backstory for Alec but didn't have the resources (I may have spent way too much time reading about cossacks). And then I was ambushed by the soul words idea which was nothing that you had requested... but I really wanted to write it. So I figured I'd write a more canonical fix-it story too. Hope at least one of them pleases you! 
> 
> (And one day I'll write that backstory too, I promise.)
> 
> (Bond and Alec ended up being a little softer – and communicative – than I meant to. Sorry. Hope you don't feel it's too out of character.)
> 
> (Contains references to Bond's past from both previous movies and book canon.)

Drawing his gun, James walked past the weirdly menacing statues of long dead men. He'd thought he was prepared for anything when he forced his way here to confront the head of the crime syndicate.

"Hello, James."

He _knew_ that voice. But it couldn't be because Alec was...

...not dead but standing in front of him, his handsome face scarred, and the smile a travesty of the one that had been filled with trust and camaraderie all those years ago. No. No. No. He couldn't be a traitor, not _Alec_...

"What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?" 

"Why?" he asked, in a broken voice, praying for a miracle. Not Alec, not _Alec_...

The vision from his past laughed.

"Hilarious question. Particularly from you. Did you ever ask why? Why we toppled all those dictators, undermined all those regimes, only to come home to 'Well done, good job, but sorry, old boy, everything you risked your life and limb for has changed'." 

"It was the job we were chosen for." His answer was instinctive, his eyes glued to Alec's changing expressions and his hand clutching the gun.

"Of course you'd say that. James Bond, her majesty's loyal terrier, defender of the so-called faith."

"I trusted you, Alec," James said, with quiet desperation.

"And I loved you, but what good did that do me?" Alec replied lightly.

A sharp pain in his neck and he was down before he'd managed to wrap his mind around the concept.

\- - -

He woke up in the helicopter, to an insistent yelling from a woman somewhere behind him. It was relatively easy to escape the missile aimed at them with the ejection system intact, and James could only conclude that Alec hadn't really meant for him to die, only to get rid of the helicopter. The man wouldn't underestimate his old... what? Friend? Colleague? 

Well, whatever he had been, once, he was now the enemy. Janus, the two-faced Roman god. He had to appreciate Alec's sense of humour, at least. 

_And I loved you_... What the hell had he meant with that? 

\- - -

The thought was somewhere in the background of his mind all through the chase, through all the battles, all the escapes. 

It was with him when he lay on the beach with Natalya, talking calmly about killing Alec, and it was there in his eyes when they were captured.

It didn't stop him from doing his work, escaping again and again, and working to blow up the satellite.

Only when faced with Alec, without witnesses, did he let the questions surface.

They were facing each other, knowing this was the end. The building was in flames and the system was jammed, the only thing left was the fight to the death between them, the only way this was ever going to end.

Neither one was attacking though, despite the shots they'd exchanged outside. 

He met Alec's eyes. Still no one made a move.

"When did you decide to do it?" James asked quietly. "Were you... were you working for them all along?"

Alec just looked at him for so long he thought he wasn't going to get an answer. But he wasn't attacking.

"No, I wasn't," Alec finally said equally quietly. "I was once a good little agent like yourself, James. I believed in what we did." He sighed. "But what we were supposed to believe in kept changing. Yesterday's enemies were tomorrow's friends and... I couldn't keep up. And they never cared about us, so I decided... why should I care about them?

"It wasn't for the Soviets – I never worked for or with them. I became a criminal, pure and simple. Money. That was the only thing I believed in anymore."

"Why speak in past tense, Alec? Admitting that you're losing?" The smug bravado covered the insecurity James felt, suddenly not sure he could face a fight to death with this man.

"Because, dammit, I hadn't counted on meeting you again. You always had the annoying tendency to make me believe in the things you believed in. I had to go. I wanted to take you with me but knew you'd never... your loyalty was not for me but for the mission, for our superiors, for the... ideals. So I decided it was better for us both if I -- died."

"Better? Damn you, Alec, I _cried_ for you." 

"Yes? Well, at least it was a pure memory, not a memory of a traitor."

"Which I've lost now."

"Well, you will be dead soon, so it doesn't matter, does it?"

"Maybe it does, to me. And now I have to kill you."

"We were always evenly matched, even back then. Who do you think will win, really?" His voice seemed to only hold mild curiosity as if it was something that didn't touch him personally.

James met his eyes and... was that wistful thinking, or did they really hold the same look as his own? Did Alec _really_ want to fight him?

He saw Alec swallow, and avert his gaze for a second. Neither one was attacking.

"What's the other option, James?" he asked quietly, as if they'd talked about everything James had thought about. "I made the choice for both of us years ago, I set us on this path. And now... we need to walk it to the bitter end."

"What did you mean when you said you loved me?" James asked.

Alec's smile was sad. It twisted the burn scars in a way that kept reminding James that this was not the man he'd known. But with that look in his eyes... "What did you think I meant? What do you want it to mean? I loved you, like a friend, like a brother, like a partner, like the only person I could trust and share everything with. Loved you in a way that made me want to share my life with you, my whole life. You made me dream about retirement, together. I _loved_ you, like you've never loved anyone, except maybe that Vesper woman in your first days as a double-0."

"I loved my wife," James said conversationally.

"Ah, the lovely countess."

"You've kept up."

"One learns things. So you did marry for love?"

"And lot of good did that do me. She was dead mere hours after the ceremony."

"I'm sorry," Alec said, as if they were having a normal catching up conversation of old friends.

"Thank you," James smiled with some humour, and Alec returned the smile.

"You?" James asked casually but desperate to hear the answer.

"What, marry? No."

"Anyone...?"

"Not in the sense that you mean, no."

"I'm sorry," he said in his turn.

"I appreciate the concern, but didn't we agree that love hasn't done either one of us any favours?"

"I never knew that you..." 

"I never meant for you to know. What good would it have done? James Bond, the perfect 00-agent in that he had no heart, who bedded women like he drank his Martinis. You came to me to unwind, to unburden your mind, when a simple lay wasn't enough, when camaraderie was what you needed. That was... plenty. I didn't want to risk that. And then when it wasn't enough anymore, I was ready to leave. And, you know... I did think of asking you to come with me. And I knew you'd say no, and I didn't want to lose your respect. But, even more than that, I feared that you might have said yes. And then you wouldn't have been the person I always thought you were."

"Ask me now."

"Why? What's the point, the answer would always be the same."

"I can't – won't – kill you, Alec!"

"Then I'll kill you."

"What if there was another option?"

"What?" he asked, with incredulity but James was sure he detected a hint of hope as well.

"You could come back with me," he said in a low intent voice.

"Are you insane?"

"No one knows it's you!"

"And where am I supposed to have been all these years?"

“Amnesiac, brainwashed, comatose, I don't know!"

"We'd never get away with that, James."

"But if we could... would you want to?"

"James..."

"Would you?"

"I still couldn't forget... nor could you, what I've done, what I've become."

"You're still not answering my question."

"I _love_ you, James. I always did and still do. What would I be coming back for, or to? For England?" The last was said in the same mocking tone he had used in the junk yard. 

"Me. You'd come back for _me_."

"But what does that mean?"

James let his gun fall to the floor, and took the last steps needed to get close enough to pull Alec into his arms, and to kiss him. It only took a second for Alec's gun to follow his, and his arms were around him, answering to the kiss with all the years of longing. It was hard and brutal in its desperation, but his lips were softer than he'd expected. The scar tissue on his cheek added to the roughness but the sensation was not unpleasant. 

"To the victor go the spoils?" asked Natalya from the doorway, machine gun aimed at them.

"Natalya..." James pulled back from the kiss, arms still around Alec.

"So, tell me, how big an idiot am I? Were you working with him all along? Or did you just decide to join him now? Or... did you just choose this of all moments to stop being cold?"

"Natalya, give me the gun," James asked, stepping away from Alec and reaching for the machine gun.

"No," Natalya said decisively, taking a step back.

"James..." Alec started but James silenced him with a small hand gesture.

"I... You said it yourself, he was my friend once, how could I just kill him now?"

"I didn't mean you shouldn't do it, I merely wondered how you could be so calm – cold – about it."

"Calm? I was dying inside."

"I think you did that years ago!"

"Yes, the moment I saw Alec get shot dead in front of my eyes. I'm tired of being dead inside, Natalya," he said, holding his hand out for Alec to take. He kept his eyes on the woman but somehow knew he could trust Alec to meet him half way if he reached out.

They faced her down, holding hands like lovers.

Suddenly there was a large explosion from somewhere behind them, and they were all rushing out, enmity forgotten in the fight for survival. 

At some point James realised that Natalya was not running with them anymore. Had she run to another direction? He hoped so. He might not love her, or want to stay with her, but that didn't mean he wished her ill. There didn't seem to be any other way out than the one they were taking. Had she been caught in the explosions? He wished like hell she hadn't died. But he didn't stop to look for her, didn't slow down. 

If he could run away from Alec all those years ago, he damn well wasn't stopping now.

They didn't stop running until they couldn't see the smoke anymore. They were on a flat field, surrounded by the forest with no one in sight.

"Now, where were we?" James asked, smiling, pulling Alec down on the ground with him.

Alec rolled them so that James was on top of him, still panting from the exercise, danger and adrenaline making their eyes sparkle in an all to familiar way.

"Just like the old days, huh?" he said, before pulling him down for a kiss, then rolling them so that he was on top again.

"It won't work, James," he said, raising his head. 

"We'll make it work," James replied, trying to pull the other man back down for another kiss.

"They'll interrogate me for years, take brain scans to prove I have not suffered the sort of injury to give me amnesia."

"You've been trained to survive interrogations, 006."

"But this? James..."

"Will you try?"

"For you? Yes. But I'm not sure I could ever return to working for the government, James."

"I don't think they'd let you," he said, amused.

"You have no use for a lover outside the loop. And I can't become another Moneypenny, spending my days adoring you."

"Bet you'd look good in black satin, though."

"Oh, witty."

"I can't... stop, Alec. This is about all I'm good for. Killing."

"We could run away and become mercenaries."

"No, we couldn't," he instantly said, and Alec smiled in return.

"No, I suppose we couldn't."

\- - -

"So, your statement says you discovered 006 in... where was it?" the interrogator whose name or position James didn't know asked again.

" _Russia_ ," James replied, for the hundredth time – give or take a few. 

"Where he had been kept imprisoned for a decade," the man said, shuffling his papers.

"Yes. He had suffered damage to his memory in the explosion I set, but they didn't believe him and kept interrogating him. Finally, they gave up. When his memory returned, he kept it a secret to avoid further interrogation."

"How convenient."

"Well, it was for me. He helped me escape, then to destroy the GoldenEye."

"And... Janus?"

"Died in the explosion."

"I heard rumours that he was someone you knew, someone with a grudge, so to say."

"Not to me personally, to the British. He was a Lienz Cossack."

"Indeed."

\- - -

"Do you think they believed you?" Alec asked, weeks later when they had been allowed to be in touch again.

They had taken a room in a hotel, then another, and finally settled on the third paying in cash. Sweeping it for bugs was a second nature by now. Only then did they feel safe enough to address the issue.

"No," James replied, sitting down on the bed. "But they couldn't find holes in our stories so I believe they're just going to go with it."

"Is it that easy?" Alec asked, coming to a halt in front of him.

"No. Of course not. They'll never stop following us. It will take a long time for them to entrust me with a serious mission again."

Alec sat down next to him.

"James... why do you trust me? How do you know I won't leave again?"

"Because this time, you would ask me to come with you, and I'd talk you out of it."

"So I would. The sex is too good."

"You keep telling yourself that, 006."

"As if. I love you, James."

It hadn't stopped being marvellous to him, the ease with which Alec uttered those words. They didn't sound glib either, each repetition felt intense even when said lightly. 

“I...” He couldn't do it. He couldn't get the damn words out, not even here, even for Alec, even after everything the man had endured for him over the past weeks. “I l... Damn it. Damn _you_ ,” he said, and the last words came out softer than a curse ever should.

"Good enough," Alec replied, laughing, and pulled him close for a kiss. "Good enough." 

\-- the End --


End file.
